


Taken with a single breath

by thatonewriterkevdude



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anger, F/M, Mentions of Cancer, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Resentment, Skin cancer, am be extreme sad, graphic depictions of hostpitalization, strong feelings of sadness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9401951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonewriterkevdude/pseuds/thatonewriterkevdude
Summary: A six year old has cancer. This is the story of her and her parents suffering through it. (NOT BASED ON A TRUE STORY)





	

 

What is happiness? Is happiness waking up to your crying daughter because she is covered in blood? Is Happiness having to drive her to the hospital every week? Is happiness seeing her with tubes in her arms connected to her veins, and you slowly losing your faith in your god, what has he done? What has he done? It seems insane that some sort of god is doing this to me? I don’t need faith, I need answers!

Is happiness actually considering to get a new child, or having some sort of unrealistic hope that your six year old will live to be older than ten? Is happiness knowing she only has four more halloweens, four more birthdays, or four more christmases? People tell me to pray, but praying has never done shit for me, or anyone for that matter!

Was happiness those first four years? Was it seeing her beautiful face without worry. Seeing her smile. Or is happiness finding out her average life expectancy. My daughter, my original reason to be happy, is now the root of all my problems. Is happiness knowing that every dress, and every toy will make me want to cry? I wish anyone else would die, hell! I’d prefer I die than her! To her, the concept of time takes forever. For me? It seemingly only lasts a minute!

 

The reason I’m still religious? The reason I still pray, or hope!? The only reason I am still faithful is because we are gonna need a damn miracle to save my daughter! A father should not have to feed his daughter ten different pills? Is happiness hoping she wakes up in the morning?

Today I asked her what she wanted for christmas. “Daddy, I want to be better!” My heart sank as I wanted to tell her the truth, honey. I can’t get you that… I-I just want to make these coming years the best ones of her life, for they may be the last. I confronted the internet and my priest, but the same answers were given. 

“Pray” I believe they know there's no hope either. Even if they don’t directly state it.

This morning when I woke up my daughter was singing a song that brought me to tears. “I love daddy, I love mommy, I hope we are together till the end of timey.” Sure it didn’t rhyme, but it made my heart split either way. Perhaps that is happiness?

“So Mr. Royall, tell me when your depression, and hunt for happiness started please.” 

“It started two years ago when my daughter got sick… She was diagnosed with acute leukemia… My wife Mary, and I were devastated. She started drinking to keep the pain away. I couldn't get a job, still can’t. I only want her to be happy while she is still here.”

“ Hmm… Maybe you should find a way to cope… Try photography, or some form of art. Preserve your daughter's image so her image is alive forever.”

His words echoed in my head the whole way home. Keep her alive forever, my ass! I want her actually here in my arms!

I started drawing, I’m surprisingly good. I drew her playing with her legos. I was interrupted by her bleeding from her nose, and having to rush to her aid. My mind still ponders on the thought of preserving her forever. I wish she would stand still long enough for me to… Damn it! I got her blood on the drawing. No person should have to go through this. Especially a six year old. 


End file.
